The Pain's From Lane, As He Boards Another Plane
The Ole Miss Fans' Lament
Young Lane Kiffin...all puddin' and pie,
We kissed his ring , He made us cry
Hey Young Lane, where you going this time?
" gotta head down the road, gotta make another dime"
The Lane Kiffin saga, " Oxford edition", is over. Or at least paused. For a moment anyway. A brief moment.
This past weekend the now- former Ole Miss head coach made official his decision to leave Ole Miss to take the head coaching job at LSU. The decision came after roughly six weeks of soft denials, equivocation and artful deflections. The whole story --taking more twists and turns than a myopic mole in a corn maze– was a mini- version of his entire career. All this cameeven as Kiffin guided the Rebels to a sparkling 11-1 record, complete with a top- ten ranking and a spot certain in the 12 team field of the College Football Playoff.
Kiffin being Kiffin, he couldn't leave without some additional drama. He asked to coach Ole Miss in the playoff and was turned down by the braintrust in Oxford. He wished out loud that he could have had the luxury of talking to his Dad regarding his difficult decision. That would be Monte Kiffin, who died in 2024. And young Lane Kiffin then put into play the various staff members that he preferred to " take " with him to Baton Rouge. Would they go? Could they stay through the season? Etc, etc.
So yes, the drama is merely paused. After all, LSU plays at Ole Miss next fall, so that should be... interesting.
Kiffin has led five programs since 2009- Tennessee, USC, Florida Atlantic, Ole Miss and now LSU. ( Post- USC, he served as OC at Alabama under you- know- who, before taking a head coaching spot again at Florida Atlantic. )
In recent stops he has produced wins, and accordingly, he has suitors of all types (except self- dignified). All of them were hoping...HOPING...that he would chose to come their way. "Pick me! Pick me!"
All of that jumping around tells us two things: 1) he gets reasonably good results and 2) the people who hire him cannot possibly be surprised when he leaves them high and dry. Can they??
In a sense, we resent Lane Kiffin because he forces us to admit that we ourselves are the problem. He's not the problem. He's a symptom. An annoying, narcissistic, overpaid symptom, perhaps , but a symptom nonetheless.
In the world of college football, known in a previous time as " amateur sports (!), there is no excess that is too excessive.
Evidence, you ask? Well , we currently have several Kiffin- like ex- coaches getting paid millions of dollars while not working. We have institutions of higher learning trying to outdo one another for newer, better, ever more costly facilities. We have college football teams whose seasons begin in July and stretch into late January, blurring any remaining quaint connection to a semester calendar. And yes, we also have high schools that are fully on board with their own expensive facilities, off- season camps, so that they can be like the big boys.
At the end of these various trails of whimsy are big piles of money. That money is placed there willingly– even enthusiastically- by us. You and I and the next guy, we all want our team to do great. And if our team should fall short– say a couple consecutive losing seasons- well, we will not sit still for that.
Phone calls, emails and more cash will let our AD know that something needs to be done! And if the AD doesn't respond promptly, we will see about replacing the AD too! Whatever it takes. Money? No big deal! Institutional pride? Overrated. Integrity? Surely that's important , right? As Groucho Marx said" I have principles– if yiu don't like them, I have others".
In a system like that, it's no surprise that a guy like Lane Kiffin would bubble up.
What is surprising is that the wailing , moaning and complaining from the most recent group to be ditched by Coach Kiffin keeps getting louder.
Do they each really believe that their situation will be the one that finally induces young Lane to stay put for a career?
A recent Podcaster drew some attention by saying that trying to get Kiffin to stay put was as pointless as trying to" turn a hoe into a housewife". Even Kiffin himself took umbrage at that remark. Certainly it's a tawdry comparison, but it feels on target.
So knowing he's that kind of guy, why are we surprised?
It's our bottomless enthusiasm for all aspects of "college" football that paves the way, and pays the way , for all this nonsense. As the the old Pogo cartoon said, " We have found the enemy and he is us."
So Kiffin's problem is that he keeps reminding us of our own foolishness.
There will be a groundswell of enthusiasm around LSU this week and beyond. The Tigers will do well and spirits will soar. But when things eventually go sideways - and they will– young Lane will be back in the news and the roadshow will move along again. With some clatter and clangs and a couple "gol- dangs"!
Let's not be shocked. Please.
Patrick Conarro
RamblinSports